In Human Design we all learn about our Type. Which is extremely useful. Following the strategy for your Type will bring huge shifts into your life.

But did you know that every gate and every channel in your BodyGraph has it's own type? So as well as having what we might call a Primary Type, we are, at a more subtle level, a combination of types. A vast number of channels are Projector Type. Which means that most of us have at least one Projector Channel in our Design regardless of what Primary Type we are.

Projectors yearn for recognition. That's what we're designed to do. It's our job.

The thing with Projectors is that we learn early on to STRUGGLE for recognition and approval. Almost without exception Projectors do not get a true mirror of themselves reflected back to them from their parents. Proliferation of the nuclear family denies most of us the chance to find it in an extended family. No more Uncle Joe out in the back shed teaching us to whittle and smoke cigarettes when our parents are not interested in us.

STRUGGLING for recognition is not what life is about for Projectors. It's a waste of our talents and our gifts. But it's hard to break through that conditioning and move on.

After all, underneath all that struggling is the absolute sure knowledge that we can't get the recognition we crave without struggling ...... can we? So giving up on the struggle means giving up on the possibility of EVER getting any recognition.... doesn't it?

Ummm .. NO. That's not true. Just thought I'd let you know.

BUT, there is a process that involves letting go of the struggle and waiting around for the people who recognise us to turn up. And that can be painful. And very scary. What if they don't turn up? They will, but that bit in the middle - that waiting bit - is not necessarily easy. It's cold turkey on the struggle addiction. And it's living in a world that thinks what you're doing is a bit loopy - waiting around for the right people to turn up in your life? Take a pill!

I know it's sometimes difficult when I tell people that their relationship problems are largely based in an addiction to struggling for a recognition that they are never going to get from that person. I mean, you can work around the edges of the relationship, but it's never going to hit that sweet spot.

The right people WILL turn up. It's a law of nature. It's inevitable. And how will you know they're the right people? You'll know. There's a sweet spot in Projectors that feels .. recognised, understood, appreciated. It's the most amazing experience.

Because these concepts are so entirely new to the planet, to the way we experience ourselves, people often don't get them at first. I've been working with them for years now, so they seem obvious to me. But I know that when I point them out to people they often say 'No, I don't feel that way.' It's like asking an eskimo to grab a board and start surfing .. who would have thought to ride those waves on a plank? Isn't that stuff just for seals and polar bears?

Observe yourself and you'll almost certainly find the signs. And then all you have to do is be aware ... awareness simply melts away unconscious behaviour.

In his most wonderful book, The Magical Child, Joseph Chiltern Pearce talks about living without personal meaning. When we have been unable to create the right connections with the matrix as children, we are never able to make sense of the world. This is what happens to Projector children. Without recognition they are adrift, up the creek without a paddle. And what happens when we are unable to connect with the matrix in our own unique way? We have to externalise meaning - which simply means we follow someone else's rules, we take on someone else's meaning.

Pearce goes on to say that living without our own personal connection of meaning to the matrix is much worse than experiencing traumatic events in our childhood, worse than abandonment, worse than never having enough food. I believe this is why some children go through terrible difficulties as and still manage to come out whole. Throughout the process they were connected to their own personal universal matrix. Others seem to have everything a child could need and still turn 'bad'. World renowned child psychoanalyst, Alice Miller, has confirmed this in her ground breaking book Drama of the Gifted Child.

With Human Design we have the keys to reconnect to our own personal universal matrix. We have the pathway to restoring personal meaning to our lives - not some fake external set of rules, but a deeply satisfying connection to the universe that leaves us with the ability to feel recognition, love and appreciation in every moment.

When the human body is falling free, it doesn't feel it's own weight. When you are connected to your own personal universal matrix, there is no gravity.

in love,
Kim

© Kim Gould - February 2006

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