Full Moon ~ 2nd August 3:27UT ~ Sun (10 le 15′ 6″) in Gate 33.3 opposite Moon (10 aq 15′ 5″) in Gate 19.3
Today’s Full Moon brings much potential to act, to get out there and make things happen. And yet, we are choosing to tune into a more subtle underlying energy that has us sitting quietly, tuning into a deeper peacefulness, allowing healing to bubble to the surface.
I was wondering how to write about the conflicting energies we’re experiencing just now without sounding trite, and so decidedto share my own experience. I’ve been having trouble with my right leg since I was 38, about 12 years now. A few days ago I realised that when I get anxious or upset my right leg wraps itself around my left leg like a small child clinging to its mother.
This morning I had such a strong sense of grief and loss in that movement of my right leg, and I could clearly feel, all the way up my spine, the misalignment this has caused. For many years, as soon as I got some consistent momentum consistently busy in my business my body would begin to break down in some way. Each time I pulled back I got another fragment of myself, and then I returned to where I’d left off in the outside world, but I couldn’t understand why it was happening at all. (My Ceres is in the Gate of Returning, Gate 24).
Today’s mix of powerful possibilities for action comes with an apparently inconsistent need to withdraw and connect with our own sensitivity. How can we go out into a world that feels so discordant? Why is our body and our emotions not joyfully leaping into the fullness of life?
My own experience this morning highlighted that this discordancy comes from the past and not the present. The message of this Full Moon is that what’s sweet may not be nourishing.
I’ve been becoming more and more conscious of how we use addictive experiences and substances to soothe the pain rather than withdrawing and being present with the core. How do you soothe yourself? How do you convince yourself that you are making up for something you can’t have? Where do you believe something painful in your life can’t be changed, and what do you do to ease that pain somewhat?
Much of our seemingly ongoing and un-healable pain was laid down in our cells when we were so young we couldn’t consciously connect with what was happening to us. We can’t think about it because the experience never got to the conscious thinking part of our brain.
The recent powerful activations to the Spleen Centre have given us access to the source of pain – at the cellular level. Our body knows, even if our minds can’t grasp that it got left out of that particular loop! When Ceres moved into Gate 35 on 27th July we got to access the emotional aspects of the pain. They were also sitting in a part of our brain that evades conscious thought!
We are delving into pre-conscious pain and healing so deep we had given up on it till now. It’s not nearly as bad as it seems, because everything else has been cleared from our field. It’s just old programming that tells us this is too scary a place to go. It was … back then. But not now.
All the Gemini energy at the Throat is helping us reclaim our own world view and act upon it. It did hurt, we were in pain, we do need to withdraw and consider our own needs. And when we are ready, a wonderful new world free of old wounds awaits us.