I want to send a big thank you to the Universe for perfectly lining up Amor, asteroid of kindness, to offset the powerful effect of Mars, Vesta, Ceres and the North Node this week.  We got a huge hit of energy yesterday that surged through all the places where we have memories of being neglected, unsupported and uncared for.  The surge came from Mars (entering Gate 50), who’s need for independence had us passionately hunting down those old wounds and getting the hell out of that painful place!


Marina Podgaevskaya (2)


I’ve been reading Alaya DeNoyelles excellent book The Sovereignty of Love.  She suggests we ask ourselves these questions:

What am I not accepting or telling myself should be different than it is?
Do I have an expectation, judgement of assumption about how it should be?
Am I in my holographic conditioning (stuck in reaction due to past memories) or in my conscious presence?
What do I consciously choose to do now?

Of course, the trick is that when we’re stuck in past memories and can’t see what is happening in the moment through our own self induced fog, we don’t know we’re in a fog.  The clue is that we feel uncomfortable.  With Jupiter and Neptune fogging up our emotions and amplifying our stories right now, the emotional landscape can be a bit confusing.  Where do you feel that things are out of your control?  That’s a good sign that at some stage in your life you’ve been overpowered, and have lost your faith in your ability to create your own reality.  (If you want a reminder that you can and are doing that, try Florence Scovel Shinn’s wonderful book The Game of Life and How To Play It)

As the wonderful Byron Katie tells us, when we fight with reality we always lose.  And when we’re lost in our own fog of painful memory, not matter how justly we feel our right to be there, we are out of alignment with our most powerful, loving and creative self.  It takes a huge effort to release our attachments to this place, but when we do things will always get better.

Let’s head back to Mars for a moment.  Yesterday Mars moved into Gate 50.  Where it bumped in the North Node.  I love this 50/27 channel, it’s so complex and delicious! It connects the Spleen Centre (wellbeing, wisdom of the body) to the Sacral Centre (sexuality, creativity, the home of  our own personal universal creative blueprint).   It is in this relationship that we find a deep and abiding instruction for how to combine our need to express ourselves, to grow and develop and create, with the need to care for ourselves as if we were precious cargo in a multidimensional vehicle.  Which of course we are.

It’s pretty clear to anyone that this combination – success and wellbeing – are not on the same page in our culture.  I remember looking around at the grey hue of the partners of my law firm back when I was a budding young lawyer and thinking .. hmmm  they don’t look healthy or happy, not sure this is the right place for me.

So there’s a feeling that we live in an either / or world. Either success or health, either love or money, either happiness or health.  Mars in Gate 50 is here to tell you that you can have it all.  No need to choose.  In fact if we continue to hold onto the old patterns of neglect and lack of self care, we will be walking away from the true success that life is about to heap on our plates.

Mars and Ceres together tend to stir up the feelings of having our independence thwarted when we were very young.  Does this word ring any bells .. NO!!  

Yes, I thought you would remember that.  Where are you still doing the NO thing on yourself?  Where are you blocking your capacity for nourishment and love and the open innovative spirit of the times?  Don’t assume you know, because right now you don’t.   The North Node is in Gate 50.5, where we are learning to become receptive to a more harmonious way of living.  We are not rigid in our thinking or behaviour, but open and responsive to each moment.  In this way we can always release what no longer serves us.  Open our grip and let it go.  It’s safe to do that now.  It’s time for a return to the body of the feminine, and it’s universal acceptance and love that has been obscured as we tried to make sense of the oh so human behaviour of our (godlike) parents.


Alaya DeNoyelles has a simple exercise to use when we feel blocked from the kindness of real nourishment.  When we feel the dissonance, the discomfort, the sense of disconnection, we can use this process.

Whatever it is that’s causing me to feel …………………

I love you (said to the painful feeling or memory)

Thank you (to the injured and vulnerable part of yourself for taking care of you all these years and for revealing itself now)

Please come home to love  (inviting it to return to a coherent resonance of love)

You can tune into the energy of Amor in Gate 27.  Amor is the divided heart – the duality between the knowledge of universal unconditional love and the need for boundaries on human or earthly love.  It’s about accepting that there is a profound difference between the love we can experience as a universal force of creation and the love we experience in communion with other people.  This combination of planets come together this week to propel us out of the story that we must continue to deny ourselves the boundless care and attention of the universe because we failed to receive it from our parents and caretakers.

What are you reaching for?  What do you need?  What do you want to do now?


Img: marina podgaevskaya

Kim Gould is founder of LoveYourDesign.com and Creator of EmergentHuman.Design.

She enjoys keeping her world-wide community on the emergent edge of consciousness, since 2003 on the LoveYourDesign.com blog.