When I met Susan she couldn’t make sense of her life. So we had a look at her design, and we also had a look at the designs of her parents.

Susan had grown up with parents who were designed to make decisions from their instinct (Spleen Centre). Both Susan’s parents knew in the moment what was right or wrong for them. When they were asked “tea or coffee?” they knew the answer immediately.

Susan’s parents were designed to live life by making one decision after another – IN THE MOMENT.

Susan, however, was designed to make her decisions over time by waiting for emotional clarity. Asking Susan to make an immediate choice was stressful for her. She simply didn’t know. For Susan there was no truth in the moment, she was designed to wait and gradually the truth would come to her. Even a simple choice like “tea or coffee” took Susan a few moments.

Susan’s parents expected her to be just like them and be able to give immediate answers to their questions. They were impatient with her confusion and she learnt to cover it up by making decisions without really knowing if they were right for her or not.

As she got older, making one wrong decision after another, Susan gradually grew apart from her true self. And because she couldn’t easily access her own inner wisdom, she began to look around her to find out what others were doing and copying them. As in “Well it works for them, so if I do it just like them maybe it will work for me.” Of course the only problem with that approach is that it’s completely wrong! As we learnt in Module 1, we are not generic. Just because it works for me does not mean it will work for you!

Many people have the opposite problem to Susan’s. They are designed to make decisions in the moment, but had parents who, out of the very best intentions, taught them to wait and consider things carefully. As children they gradually lost touch with their original intuitive response and ended up making (usually bad) decisions from their head. They were conditioned to believe that the strong gut feelings they were naturally designed to rely on weren’t trustworthy, and they stopped listening.

CrossedWires3There are many of us on the planet now, living like this, making decision after decision without having any idea if it’s the right choice for us or not. We create our lives through our daily choices. No wonder that sometimes our lives don’t make sense to us! When Susan discovered that she needed time to make decisions, she was so relieved. Then she was able to make some changes to how she lived her life. She stopped expecting that she should immediately know what felt good or bad. She started telling people she’d “think” about it and ring them back. She stopped feeling guilty when she couldn’t make a decision straight away.

In other words, Susan started making choices in alignment with her true self, and she gradually began to live the life she was designed to live.

Simple shifts in perception can profoundly change our lives.

 

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Kim Gould is founder of LoveYourDesign.com and Creator of EmergentHuman.Design.

She enjoys keeping her world-wide community on the emergent edge of consciousness, since 2003 on the LoveYourDesign.com blog.