I’ve been feeling a bit Jiminy Cricket lately. As in, there are voices that I haven’t heard before coming in loud and clear. I’ve started to understand what people mean when they talk about listening to their conscience.
It’s a strange idea, the conscience. I did a bit of reading about it, and found that it has a rich and complex history that goes back at least to the ancient Hebrews.
My feeling is that it comes in two versions – our innermost core of personal values, and the outer layer that lets us know how to behave nicely in any given social or religious circumstance.
What’s breaking free in me now are the voices coming from my own core conscience.
Certain emotions carry the voice of our core conscience – guilt for example. Anxiety as well. I’ve been experiencing a lot of both in the past 2 years and as I’ve unravelled, unpicked and generally dissolved it’s causes it’s been a continual surprise package. Because I’ve been discovering that both guilt and anxiety (and probably the original depression that I suffered from a decade ago) were caused by ignoring what I knew to be true for myself, and travelling instead along a pathway mapped out by the externalised conscience – thou shalt!
This is a lot bigger deal than it first appears. As Uranus moves over our natal Eris activations (in Gates 17, 21 and 42) , it is triggering the places where we have learnt to blame ourselves for having our own opinions (17), for taking control of our own lives (21) and for expanding beyond the existing reality paradigm (42). Eris and Uranus are the great disrupters, moral champions of the individual, and as they come to play out on the global scene we need the old structures of society and religion less and less.
I remember about 15 years ago, talking to my lovely in-laws about a time when people would no longer need laws or religion to tell them how to behave. They were … well, the best word is aghast, at the very idea. Anarchy! Chaos! People looting and raping and generally behaving very badly! If there are no external controls to our behavoiur – no fear of a wrathful god, no police force to impose order, no red tape – just what might happen?
The upcoming Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse will be in Gate 32. In her book The Original I Ching, Margaret J Pearson PhD describes this hexagram/gate as calling for us to persist in following the truth, in doing what we know is right, in fulfilling our best selves, that moral strength for which the word ‘virtue’ is a poor translation. This is not so much about being a good person as it is about connecting with the strongest and most life giving energy within us, the type of kindness that attracts others with it’s quiet and radiant receptivity. Who knows, perhaps it’s possible that humanity is truly a peaceful, loving and kind species!
As a global society, we’re not quite ready for that leaving all the rules behind. But you and I, now there’s a different story entirely. We are the forerunners of a life lived from the inner conscience. We are the real change, no matter how much money society is spending trying to control and manage from the top down. Life tells us – chaos theory and fractals and systems theory – tells us that reality is organised from a pinpoint of consciousness in each given moment of space/time.
I’ve always taught that the Solar Plexus is incredibly important for finding our humanity. The Ji Centre is lovely, with it’s frequency of unconditional love and soul purpose, it’s truly delicious. But we are here to anchor that higher dimensional Ji Centre energy into dense physical bodies with the miracle of emotions. And those emotions are key to our inner conscience. They are key to our freedom and to the power of our individual expression. They are key to bringing our attention into that powerful pinpoint of creative consciousness we have in each moment. Anger shows where we have ignored our own personal boundaries – it allows abuse. Fear shows where we may not be listening into our own intuitive sense of what is healthy for us – it allows our bodies to be degraded.
What most disturbs our emotions is when we lapse into a kind of learned helplessness, a powerless to take charge of our own lives because we have been conditioned to give up our power to an externalised conscience. That might look like spending time with people who are putting out a disturbed emotional wave rather than choosing our own calm space, because we have to be ‘nice’. Or it might be not speaking clearly about something that is important to us, telling white lies so as not to alarm or reveal too much of our wild, apparently chaotic and inconsistent selves.
Margaret Pearson talks about how this failure to act consistently in alignment with our own moral strength leads to a deadening, an ongoing vegetal state where the full range of life is missing. If we tune into our negative emotions and let them guide us to a more alive state, it changes everything. Barbara Frederickson’s research shows we need negative emotions, but as occasional feedback rather than as a chronic ongoing experience. When we have a ratio of at least 3 positive thoughts to each negative thought, we will flourish. (Once we get over 11 positive thoughts for each negative thought we are at the other polarity, a lack of realistic feedback that trips us into our own personal lala land.)
Ceres and Vesta have been retrograding in Gate 50 – a gate of shifting culture through taking responsibility for our own personal value systems. They have now shifted to Gate 32 (right in alignment with the Full Moon this week), and are pulling us towards our path of service through reconnecting with others in a way that can best be described as Namaste! The divine in me greets the divine in you!
As we approach this month’s two lunar eclipses and the astrological Grand Cross, take the time to listen deeply to your own deep inner values. Watch how you might have been seduced into believing that living in accordance with these values is wrong, that it makes you a bad person, that it will bring censure and isolation down upon you. And make the necessary adjustments.