21st August 2010
I’m watching the global debate just now on what will save us all. It’s assuming we need to be saved, which is interesting in itself. And I’m watching Mercury in the Gate of Oppression and Exhaustion bringing a black cloud of doom and gloom and ‘I can’t go on another minute like this’ to the mix. This is a gate that has us feeling that no matter what we do, nothing will ever change. And then Mercury is going retrograde so that alerts us to the fact that this way of thinking is exactly what we need to be aware of.
In two days things will begin to cheer up as first Venus and then Mars move into the Gate of Intuitive Clarity. At the moment they are both sitting in the Gate of Depth that triggers our feelings that we are unworthy, that what we have to offer from our authentic self will never be good enough. And that’s if anyone even notices it at all. Doom and gloom.
So what’s really going on here? Firstly, let’s get clear about the idea that the universe (or whatever we want to call it) does not get off on seeing you suffer. Here’s a major opportunity to clear some masochistic tendencies from the human condition, starting with our own thoughts. Over the next two days, anytime you feel limited, unseen, as if you have to struggle on and on with no respite, remember this: there are some deeply conditioned choices being made here and just now we have the chance to become conscious of them.
Here’s what the I Ching says:
We feel restless and indecisive. At first we want to push ahead, and then encounter obstructions that only feel oppressive when we deal with them recklessly. We butt our heads against a wall and then feel ourselves to be oppressed by the wall. We lean on things that have no stability. So then we turn back irresolutely and retire into our house only to find our wife is gone.
The wife represents something dependable, warm, nurturing. And can you feel it? She’s not there. But the whole point of this hexagram is that the wife (or what she represents) was there all along, we just can’t see her. That’s because for two thousand years we’ve been practising not seeing her. It’s been about the father as creator and as protector and provider. But now the father is worn out, exhausted and has no answers for the questions that plague us.
One of the most common ideas I’ve come across in the past few months on the web is the idea that we must return to some sort of ethics. It’s a loss of ethics that’s caused this problem, they say. But this won’t save our butts. Because hidden deep under the idea of any externally formulated ethics is our authentic response to life and that’s what’s calling us out now. In this situation any recall of morality and ethics will be used like a prison to continue to keep these aspects of self from seeing the light of day. We have to be nice, good, kind, loving, calm, gentle, serve humanity, etc. What do we do when the ethics we ascribe to conflict with our authentic selves?
Here’s the thing. There are parts of ourselves that have been told they are wrong so many times that we believe if they escape our grasp we will die. We must keep them frozen, deadened, hidden away. It’s a life or death struggle going on within our psyche. We may not even be consciously aware of it yet, but we feel the sense of dis-ease it’s causing and that’s our first port of call.
A deep soul woundedness that has been frozen, walking in the valley of death, is waking up, shaking her head and suggesting she might like a bowl of warm soup and a nice walk in the sun thank you. Trying to apply ethics to such an personal alchemical experience is like being outraged that a coma patient isn’t using her knife and fork properly. And this aspect of self has sustained damage akin to a coma patient so we must be good to ourselves while she’s waking up.
I say ‘she’ because the activating point here is the Scattered Disc Object and Dwarf Planet Candidate currently known as Snow White. She’s creating a channel with the South Node, demanding that if we want to ‘wake up’ and live happily ever after, we have to spit out that sliver of poisoned apple.
The issue here is our confusion about what is actually poison. Somehow we’ve gotten confused and believe that something authentic in us is poison, rather than understanding that it’s been poisoned. Something in us has become convinced that spitting out that poison is a bad thing to do, and we should go on being nice, polite, helpful and … well, ethical.
Let me ask you this. What choices would you be making right now if there was absolutely nothing about you that was wrong? What if the world was always wonderfully enthusiastic about absolutely everything about you? What if we all celebrated your every word, every movement, every breathe of life you take? That is the point of power we stand at today, and not just for our relationship with ourselves but for our relationships with each other.
Celebrate yourself. You are life. All of you.