Mars New Evolutionary Journey

Mars tips us into a new era as the masculine gets pulled up short, unable to go forward, unable to go back. What to do when we are held in this moment, ambiguous and uncomfortable as it is? All we can do is be here now, making explorations into how to make it as comfortable and nurturing for ourselves as possible.

Mars has just passed over Sedna in Gate 23 line 5. There is an Inuit story that when things got out of balance the elders would call on Sedna so that the men could apologise for not heeding her natural wisdom. Right now, Sedna is rising from the deep ocean, on her path to the return of the goddess.  Mars stands before her, but our desire to push forward, our fear that we will end up here forever or not get what we want, makes us rash and unable to heed Sedna’s voice.

The surfaces are cut and sliced away; the old and unviable is stripped back to expose the living core. This inevitable natural process often feels like a flaying, the more you have invested of yourself in these old things the more painful it will be.

It’s no good at such times to imagine the future and make plans. You need to bring your energy back to centre and honour the process. This is the time to be transformed, not to act. Until the old is utterly stripped away so that you have no choice but to think in new ways, you will still be tempted to recreate the old patterns.

Hilary Barrett

 

Mercury, Mars and Venus are making the rounds of the Throat Gates, creating the illusion that we can act to get what we want.  But the old ways of manifesting are at an end and our efforts to push forward on an ego-based agenda are doomed to failure.   What if we can’t have what we want?  What if we have to struggle on and on in this terrible place with no hope of something better?  What if .. what if … what if.   And so Pluto in the Root Centre asks us “which way to joy?”.  We must allow our fears to be transformed, to be in a place of calm surrender to a more natural way of being.  We are shifting from control to containment, from separation to synergy, from ownership to manifestation.

The fear and shame that has been held in our DNA for many, many generations wants to come free and this can feel terrifying.  It’s toxic, it’s what’s kept us in a more limited version of ourselves.  We are undergoing an evolutionary intensification that will clear old earth based wounds and open us up to our higher galactic selves.

Mars is passionate desire, creating a fiery presence in each moment of our lives.  What do your Mars activations in your chart tell you about your fire?

One Mars gets the idea, that we don’t have to put in so much effort to create, we can release our addiction to the struggle and relax enough to dance with Venus in passionate creative embrace.

 

 

 

http://www.cubagallery.co.nz/

Ceres and Sedna ~ Growth and Movement

 

This is a ‘retro post’, one of a collection I’m considering including in a book.  Enjoy!

30th December 2010

Many years ago, when I moved up to the North Coast, I went to see a spiritual healer.  As I’d been terrified to see a tarot card reader less than 12 months before, this was a big step up in the ‘alternative’ stakes for me.  I lay on the table feeling quite apprehensive, not knowing what to expect, and the healer placed her hands on my stomach.  Then she looked at me and said ‘you’ve had a very sad childhood’.  I burst into tears that turned into sobbing.  I completely lost it.  What was most surprising to me when I thought about it later, was that I’d always thought I had a happy childhood. But there was no mistaking the energy that burst out of me that morning.

A year or so later I had a colonic and the woman was looking at the …  results .. lol! …  as they passed through the clear tube and said to me ‘there was a lot of sadness in your childhood’ and apart from being amazed at how she could get that information (something to do with stress hormones creating particular colours) again I was struck by the sense of hidden truth in what she said.  I was very ill and not about to ignore any potential clues back then.  About that time I spent almost a year crying.  I wondered if I would ever stop.

http://www.cubagallery.co.nz/

Alice Miller, the iconic child psychotherapist, was prompted to write her book The Drama of the Gifted Child (which I cried all the way through the first time I read it), by her curiosity over why some children recover well from appalling trauma and others have relatively mild experiences and never get over them.  Over many years of observation she discovered that those who recovered had one thing in common.  They had someone – and it only needed to be one person – who said to the child ‘what happened to you is not okay’.  This allowed the child to understand that they had experienced something abusive.  It doesn’t need to be appalling abuse, as Miller so brilliantly explains, it can be as little as a harsh voice or an angry glance that has us retreating into ourselves.  She found that the children who did not have anyone to reflect the harsh nature of their experiences to them were lost in a sea of confusion where the world was unsafe and no one could truly be trusted.

These inner children, the one’s who have never heard that trusted voice, are stirring within us.  These are the inner selves who never got to grow up because they were so traumatised.  And no one came to their rescue.  Instead of pointing out to them that the experience(s) they had were hurtful, shaming, humiliating, belittling, abusive, painful, they were told to toughen up and get on with it.  But these inner children are all heart and clear light.  Toughening up wasn’t an option and they had no alternative but to withdraw and protect themselves as best they could.  They became our shadow, and were demonised.  That sad child inside me had not found a pathway to happiness, and had essentially given up searching for something that she had come to believe was just a fantasy.

These lost aspects of self are not just from this lifetime, in fact it seems to me that they are marching through the veils of time to be here now.   Pluto in the Gate of Joy in Capricorn is calling those Cancerian children home.

Until now their shadow has been playing out in our day to day reality and while we may not have been re-creating those experiences in ways we are conscious of, as a species we have gradually created culture that reflects the relationship between abuser and abused. We have done this because over many human lifetimes we got lost on our way to experiencing true love.

As I said in yesterday’s post, Saturn is the circus ringmaster just now.  Saturn was traditionally known as the Lord of Karma.  Till March 2011 he’s connected to the Lunar Nodes, creating a strong karmic influence in our lives.  Saturn is in Libra, a sign that encompasses who we love and who we hate.  Or more precisely, what we seek to learn about ourselves in a positive way and what we believe we must learn in a negative way.  As I wrote yesterday, this is creating a profound integration of self that goes well beyond this one lifetime, gathering ancestral memories held in the body, plus experiences of past lives.

There’s two things in particular supporting this shift.  One is dwarf planet Ceres in Gate 60 – Limitations – in the Root Centre and the other is Sedna in Gate 23 – Splitting Apart – in the Throat Chakra.  They are both in the central integrative column in the Human Design Chart.  In the Kaballah, this central column integrates duality.  It weaves together the energies that we perceive as feminine and masculine as a means of physical manifestation.

Ceres

Ceres is in Gate 60 in the Root Chakra from Christmas Day till 11th January.  This gate deals with the limitations that we experience when we want to birth something at the material level, as our ideal vision descends through to the physical density for manifestation.  There are two kinds of limitations – those we impose on ourselves out of fear, and the natural limitations that support perfect manifestation.   Just now we are learning to distinguish between the two and it’s not always an easy task!

Ceres is a dwarf planet that represents the development of self worth as a basis for forming relationship.   Ceres transits can activate deep feelings of loss and grief and can also indicate old stories and our neurotic reactions when they are triggered.  On the positive side, Ceres is always pointing us towards healing and wholeness, a place where we have a healthy approach to our own self care and nourishment.  She has a particular effect on the way we might use food or not eating as a compensation.

Just now Ceres is encouraging us to move beyond our conditioned stories of limitation in our relationships, to loosen up and try new things.  And at the core of Cere’s message right now is that the  more we engage in self-care the more love and care we will have for others, and the better our relationships will be.

One particular point, in the central integrative channel, Ceres is letting us know that we are not able to manifest what we want into physical reality just now unless we open more fully to both our masculine and feminine aspect.

My deeper intuitive sense is that she is clearing ages old conflict over who is the ultimate ‘creator’ or void – the feminine or masculine – God or Goddess – egg or sperm.  In our own personal world we may be experiencing this as a conflict between following our intuition and going within or taking decisive goal oriented action.  Actually just now, we are learning  how these two aspects of self need to work as a team.

Sedna

She moves so slowly, out there past Pluto with an orbital period of 11,000 years!  Sedna moved into Gate 23 in the Throat Centre in June 2004 and will stay there until June 2014.  This means we will notice her only when a faster moving planet triggers her influence.

This week Venus is in Gate 43, creating a channel with Sedna that connects the Ajna Centre to the Throat.   Sedna has multiple influences including:

  • the return of a sacred earth based goddess consciousness
  • choosing to resist cultural roles and norms
  • allowing a deep dissolution and transformation that may trigger a fear of death
  • letting go of frozen aspects of self, especially in our emotions
  • having a naive view of life and not wanting to grow up
  • feeling trapped or enclosed and having to do the work to become self reliant and get free
  • fear of aging
  • fear of committing to relationships or even to being here on earth
  • fear of hurt and rejection of true self
  • a vanity and self concern that cuts us off from others in our family or tribe
  • attempts to use others for our own purposes
  • disrespect towards natural limitations of the earth’s resources into account

With Venus triggering Sedna at the moment I would be focusing on our fear of being trapped, growing older, feeling limited in relation to our ability to create beauty, grace, harmony and loving relationships in our lives.  In Gate 23.3, Sedna is dissolving even our old bones (structure) and turning them into something more useful, stripping away what is no longer constructive in our lives.  We are learning to be supple and graceful and to release rigid strength that is crippling.

Both Venus and Sedna are in line 3 today, so it’s a good day to thresh around a bit and explore some new options.  This channel can bring sudden and unexpected shifts in our understanding.   Again, these gates are in the central integrative channel and so they are asking that we open to a more mature and open relationship between dualities, and to our feminine and masculine creative powers as they seek to work together.  Inner and outer, action and stillness, moving forward without rushing, allowing the universe to provide partners and co-creating miraculous outcomes.

2577792894_b358776c92_z

Snow White and the Theft of the Time Lords ~ the Pisces Full Moon

 

25th August 2010

Today’s Full Moon might be in Pisces but it’s no laid back affair.  In fact, it’s electrifying as the Moon conjuncts Snow White in the Gate of Thunder and Fire ~ Abundance (55.2).

Snow White ~ Julia Arielle

Snow White ~ Julia Arielle

Snow White fascinates me, and not just because she sits bang on my natal Chiron.  Oh well, okay probably yes absolutely for that reason.   Clarissa Pinkola-Estes talks about the daughter stories as being a rite of passage for waking up and coming into fully alert feminine power.

Many “daughter” stories, like Sedna and Persephone, involve the father/husband as the evil do-er.  In Snow White and Psyche it’s the mother/mother-in-law/ evil stepmother.

Sedna and Persephone were perhaps reluctant to leave the world of childhood and needed a bit of a push.  But Snow White and Psyche had a different problem entirely.  They were so beautiful that neither the evil step-mother nor Psyche’s mother-in-law Aphrodite/Venus could take such competition and so the beautiful daughter had to go.

The older women didn’t want to move on to the next stage and become the wise crone.  They were desperate to remain in the beautiful stage, able to lure the man with their physical charms. They needed a bit of a push to move on.

The Moon is giving us that push now, to give up the safety of where we are at and allowing us to mature and grow into something new.  In doing so we must release what is no longer part of our life.   And that includes a certain innocence, a certain not-seeing of what harms us.  And it includes a tendency to gloss over what angers and frightens us, out of fear of being overwhelmed.  And it includes a desire to live in a fantasy world that is really a half death, and a wanting to wait for someone to come save us so we can live happily ever after.

Our fantasies need warm support from real people to bring them to life.  Left alone they hold us captive in a nether world of endless possibilities.  As children we are rarely given the activation we need to bring our brilliant ideas to physical fruition and so we spend our lives trapped in this nether world, endlessly seeking new ideas, ways to catch the attention, fresh persuasive arguments in favour of our dreams.  We can channel our creative energies into shopping, sexual adventures and raising children.  Or we go into a dreamless sleep where the fantasies sustain us from even having to try – they are, after all, only fantasies.

Pisces Full Moon

Pisces Full Moon

The Moon is also conjunct Neptune and Chiron, although they are still sitting in the Gate of Flaming Brightness and Illumination.  In this gate, our old masculine energy has been consumed by fire and we feel that we have nothing solid to cling to.  Except perhaps our Chirotic wounded sensitivity, or our Neptunian ability to dream and suffer from the effects of the ‘real world’ and engage in acts of apparent self-less caring for others.

What will we use to dress our visions and dreams now?  How will we support them?

Let’s have a look at the Sun, which might perhaps represent the masculine element of this Full Moon transit.  He’s in the Gate of Dispersing, where ice is broken up, becomes water and then flows away;  something frozen within us is thawing.   Orcus is there as well, suggesting a need for integrity in the masculine.  And telling a tale of how a lack of integrity both personally and culturally/economically can cause us to freeze up to protect ourselves.

Sedna, Goddess of the Northern Ice Realms, is being activated by Chariklo, Echeclus, Sappho and Magdalena in 43 (also about dispersing).  When we have increased to excess, we have a breakthrough and what is unhealthy is eliminated.  Magdelana seeks to redress the imbalance by acknowledging the equal partnership of the feminine receptive principle with the masculine active principle.  Echeclus gives us a mental ability to balance abstract and linear thought.

Indian Ocean by Flokifoto ~ www.Flickr.com

Sedna is in the Gate of Splitting Apart where the relationship is finding a new way and it can feel as if there is nothing solid to rely upon.  Even the ice has melted.

Remember Orcus?  He’s telling us something very important.  That our masculine active principle has been waaaay out of alignment with our inner feminine knowing.   Did I say waaaaaaay out of alignment?   Did I mention that the feminine is frozen?  We can’t properly connect with our deep intuition or natural sensuality and vitality.

The result is that we’ve all been racing around like lunatics without any real sense of what we were doing, hoping it would all turn out okay.  And now we’re exhausted and we can’t go on another minute.  Good!  Now we get to recover, recuperate, regroup and find a better way forward.

Eris, Goddess of Discord, has been sitting in the Gate of Growth and Increase in our Sacral Centre (think energy and vitality) since 2008.  She’s letting us know that our current methods of growth and increase are toxic, built as they are upon the poverty of vast sections of humanity and the general rape and pillage of the earth’s resources and her people.   This creates internal discord, as it leaves us with a constant craving for something new, what we have already partly consumed is strewn behind us, and we have nothing solid within us or outside of us that we can trust as truly reliable.  Not even our iPhones and Manolos.

A perfect example is the banks throwing people out of their homes when they lose their jobs and can no longer afford the mortgage payments.  That’s business and homeowners knew the deal when they signed the mortgage contract.  But the question remains … what kind of society treats it’s people in that way?  What kind of society throws people out of their homes just when they really need a sense of safety and security in their lives?

Again, Orcus conjunct the Sun asks us to delve deep and deeper into what we truly see, what makes us angry and what creates our fears, what is our personal emotional response to such actions.

Enter stage left …  Venus and Mars conjunct Haumea.  They are all sitting in the most potent gate of intuition in the Human Design chart, the Gate of Penetrating and Proceeding (57).  Haumea is one of the new dwarf planets, and she is the Creatrix of Hawaii.  In this gate of double wind, she is doing a balancing act (it is after all a Libran gate), that has two parts – waiting patiently for the right time to achieve our aims and being persevering in accomplishing them.  Big hint … Mars and Venus are both here and we are in Libra which is about balancing apparently opposing forces.

Here’s what Confucious had to say when I skyped him about this today 🙂 :

Before one’s mood of pleasure or anger, sorrow or joy, is released, one’s mind is in a state of equilibrium.  When those feelings have been released and are at an appropriate degree, they are in a state of harmony.  This equilibrium is the great basis of all human activities and this harmony is the universal path for all to pursue.  We must devote ourselves to achieving this state of equilibrium and harmony, and to establishing the proper order between Heaven and Earth.  Then all things will be nourished and will flourish.

Fractal Fire Rose by Pirate ~ www.Flickr.com

Are you wondering where the Time Lords come into this story?  There’s one reason why we don’t experience this state of equilibrium and resulting harmony in our lives.  And that’s because we have all bought into the story of constant growth.  We can’t stand still long enough to be consciously present in our bodies.  And so we don’t embody our dreams and visions.  We don’t have time.

If we take the time we need to truly live we’re accused of selfishness or laziness.  We need to give ourselves the time to experience our authentic emotional responses and the wonder of our physical bodies.   This will heal our anxiety and depression, and give us something solid and integral to cling to.

We’re too busy to allow our dreams to grow naturally, organically.  We push them to keep up with some insane rhythm that has nothing to do with true nourishment.  The Time Lords have stolen our lives and it’s time to take them back.  We want to live in our physical bodies, abundantly, sensually, juicily, joyfully alive.

It’s time to allow the natural in and out breath of growth, time to grow by looking within, time to trust what we know and embody our dreams and visions beyond the realms of pure fantasy.  There is an implicit order sitting under the apparent chaos and we can sense it arising in our lives.  Don’t let anyone confuse or limit it’s growth in your life.

  Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010 Kim Gould