945665_10151674158910865_595709434_nI wonder if I’m enlightened yet.   I typed “”how do I know if I’m enlightened?”  into Google and found lots of lists.  Well, that certainly makes it easy!  Topping the list were things like happiness, peace, calm, humility.  Another intriguing challenge for the potential enlightenee is to be able to understand the teachings of all the world’s religions, because when I’m enlightened I will be sitting (not smugly, because I’m humble now, remember?)  in the original source.   I suppose Hebrew and Arabic will come naturally, some gift of remembrance from a past life perhaps?

I’ve been reading a lot of aspirational literature lately.  How to be happy, how to be a great leader, how to be more spiritual.  I’m getting bored with it’s wholesome goodness.  The constant striving for some ideal self is starting to wear a bit thin.  What if I just want to be the really awful version of myself, what if I just can’t be stuffed being so bloody good, trying so bloody hard?

As an antidote to the search for perfection and enlightenment,  I took up my copy of Thomas Moore’s Care of the Soul.  Ah, just what I needed.  Dr Moore prescribes a cessation of the struggle to fit any particular model, and suggests instead we lean into our imperfect primitive nature and embrace what is small, inadequate, powerless and dependent within us.  Who knows what treasure’s lurk undisturbed there in our own dark places?

What if I don’t want to be happy?   While we’re all so busy trying to be spiritual, when do we get time to be soulful?  What if I don’t want to have a purpose that drives me relentlessly forward in life to some ever greater fulfillment?  What if I just want to stop?  Who’s the better person, me who is sitting in the sun all day reading a book, or the Medecins Sans Frontieres doctor giving children injections in Kenya?   I mean, sure, there’s plenty of research to suggest doing something helpful, even noble, makes us feel better, become better people.  But surely it doesn’t work if I just want to sit in the sun?  And surely, if I want to sit in the sun, that’s helpful AND noble?

This is not idle wondering.  My mental meanderings have a purpose.   I’ve been thinking a lot about the groupthink that exists around the shifts we are going through,and the pressure it creates in our lives.  Sure we can see climate change, super tornadoes, floods and house high snow drifts aren’t exactly in short supply at the moment.  Technology appears to be taking over our culture and our day to day lives – when was the last time you touched actual money rather than your bank card or smartphone banking app?  We have had some shaky days on the financial front in the past few years, with many in the  financial elite being exposed for the pirates they truly are.   Corporations that appear to have stakes in the evil empire are attempting to own our global food stocks, and amorphous conglomerations know everything about us, probably much more than we know ourselves. Last month they were denied the chance to own human dna.  I suppose they figured it was worth asking!

Of course the amorphous ‘they’ are at the root of the problem, as Saturn and Pluto activate the Root Centre and push us to finding real and practical ways to live powerful lives.

It seems to me that people are becoming kinder, friendlier and more engaged.  Here in Australia contestants in gameshows hug each other all the time, even though they’re competitors.  That wouldn’t have happened in the 1950’s, they weren’t allowed out of their designated seats even if they’d wanted a bit more intimate contact.  On the other hand, I was just looking at some footage of aboriginal artists, sitting in the dust of their traditional lands with their sagging breasts and deeply wrinkled faces, surrounded by loved ones and sporting huge smiles on their faces.  It almost made me put away my OlayRegenerist Micro-Sculpting Cream, and hug my family.

We feel intuitively that we are at some sort of crossroads, but can’t quite read the signs.  As the world gets smaller, the cognitive dissonance grows louder and more insistent.   Nothing adds up anymore, and the butterfly effect seems to have gone into overdrive. We’ve grown too sophisticated to rely on our leaders, and I suspect they are just as confused as the rest of us lately.   I suspect we are in the grip of chaos.  Not chaos theory, not some kind of interesting mental idea or spiritual concept.  This is the real version, this is what happens when we arrive at the front door of chaos and are invited inside.

Back when I was a lawyer I loved the notion of primary sources.  There’s no way I’d make a dick of myself by standing up in front of a judge and saying ‘your honour there’s this case, one of my friends told me about it when we were out at the pub last night, it’s about this bloke …  ‘.  The judge needs me to give him primary sources – the 1992 Supreme Court case called Smith v’s Jones.   There’s no point me putting up a witness who was in the corner of the same pub and overheard someone telling someone else … there’s this bloke and …  There’s whispers, rumour, innuendo, and we love to dredge up all of them when we have a point to make on our own behalf.  So right about now, I’m looking for primary sources at the spiritual level.  And, truly, I don’t think there are any.  Sure, we can call on the need for faith.  But right now, what’s real?  Is there anything we can rely on?

There’s no doubt the maths stack up, and so does the science.  I read somewhere that it takes 50 years for a new scientific idea to penetrate our day to day reality.  Einstein published his General Theory of Relativity in 1916.   That’s nearly 100 years ago.   It changed what we thought we know about time and space and so perhaps we have needed the extra time to assimilate it.  I suspect that, like the Industrial Age coming on the heels of Cartesian science, our current predicament is that we are struggling to discover what quantum mechanics means and how we can live there.

Physicist John Wheeler said that the deepest lesson of quantum mechanics may be that reality is defined by the questions we put to it.  And if you’re having difficulty figuring out what this all means, you’re in good company.  Nobel Prize winning physicist Richard Feynman is quoted as saying nobody understands quantum mechanics.  Even the scientists working on it often find the ‘reality’ it reveals deeply disturbing.

It’s a bit different to the Industrial Revolution, when humanity discovered the capacity to create various kinds of steam engines and the ability to persuade perfectly rational people to spend their days in factories.   During the Industrial Revolution, a house was still a house.  These days a house may be a collection of electrons, or particles.  It may exist, or not really.  And if it’s roof falls in it may cause a tsunami in Japan.

One key point stands out in all this for me.  We are learning to create reality.  We are learning the basic (and we are at the very basic level!) skills of thinking and feeling in ways that bring about certain outcomes.

I mean, what could I make of this video?  How can sound possibly have a shape?  I mean really – sound has shape and substance??  (My favourite is the 3240 hz, by the way).

I wrote an article for a friend a while back on our attempts to think of business in ‘quantum’ terms.  In it I pointed out that although we have scientific proof that matter doesn’t actually exist (at least not in the way you and I think of it), we still expect to see our furniture where we left it when we get home from work.

In Human Design, Saturn in currently transiting in the Gate of Exceeding (28).  This was always going to be challenging.  Saturn rules structures, and Gate 28 is about the collapse of structures brought on by piling too many of our hopes and expectations upon them.  When we go beyond what’s feasible, the whole thing comes crashing down.   And right now we are coming face to face with a whole lot of unrealistic expectations.   Next week there’s be a huge shift in our consciousness about this, and I’ll write more in the next day or so about that.  We are seeing, knowing, acting more slowly, more deliberately, with more clarity of purpose.

Saturn’s effect is ramped up the the n’th degree by it’s current connection with Pluto.  It’s not just the everyday structures of our lives that are under the cosmic spotlight.  We’re  not just doing a bit too much overtime at work, or pushing our mortgage out a bit too far by buying that McMansion.   Pluto and Saturn are taking us beyond the everyday, delving deeply into the structures we rely on to survive, and they are finding all the weak spots.  Don’t expect quick outcomes for anything you are doing to remedy imbalances in your life just now.  We are in the midst of a process that will take a few years to show it’s benefits.

Pluto and Saturn are slow and steady. Results can take years to manifest.  But for right now,  we are being shown a way to live that is far beyond our current comprehension.  We can open to it slowly, and with deep reverence.

Kim Gould is founder of LoveYourDesign.com and Creator of EmergentHuman.Design.

She enjoys keeping her world-wide community on the emergent edge of consciousness, since 2003 on the LoveYourDesign.com blog.