Relationship Fractals


Today’s Full Moon happens at 28th December 2012, 10.21UT, 9.21PM AEDT, 2.21AM PST.  It’s at Sun:  7+ Capricorn (Gate 58.4) and Moon:  7+ Cancer (Gate 52.4).  These gates are both in the Root Centre and the Sun is close to Pluto in Gate 58.6.  Pluto will shift out of this Gate of Joy on 5th January 2013 after 3 years here.

The central theme is movement in accordance with your joy – don’t let your mind stifle the flow of energy in your life with it’s anxiety and need for certainty.  Certainty will come in it’s own time. Rediscover your capacity for poise and power in each moment.  Release rigidity, enforced movement or stillness.  Allow your actions and desires to connect within you,  the poison of unmet needs is released and your path becomes clear.

Relationships are a major issue just now.


Juno and our relationship needs


Juno is generally considered as a good indicator of relationship issues in astrology, she was Roman patron goddess of marriage and childbirth.  Her Greek counterpart – Hera –   he era – “the earth”,  has the same origin as the word hero.  It’s not all romance though.   The Greek myth tells how Zeus came to Hera disguised as a wounded bird.  When she drew him to her breast out of pity, Zeus reverted to his usual form and ‘ravished’ her.  Out of guilt and shame, she married him.

The mythology is generally considered to be a retelling of the earlier forced marriages of priestesses to leaders of alien tribes who were invading their lands, including forcing monogamy on women, who from that time on were considered property rather than fully human.

human design transit chart Full Moon December 2012
Full Moon December 2012

The Sun passed over Juno a few days ago, in the Gate of Treading.  As well, Juno is making aspects to Uranus, Neptune and Chiron.

Overall what we have is an unpacking of what relationships are all about.  Juno can raise issues of abandonment, infidelity, inequality and lack of commitment.  She can also show the way for a new kind of relationship that is based on mutual respect and honour, and on continual renewal.

Juno’s connection with Uranus makes us rebellious, we want our freedom.  Juno’s connection with Neptune brings an idealism that may not be met.  And Juno’s connection with Chiron can bring up our wounds of not being included.

Positive attributes are an ability to maintain our individual shape within the relationship, including sexual freedom (Uranus), to come together with a higher spiritual purpose that can see the other person clearly, warts and all (Chiron) and an ability to find a true creative partnership (Neptune).

There’s a sense of refuge in our intimate relationships.  We give and receive from a place that we often don’t feel safe to share with the world at large.  I believe that this refuge is being dismantled and we are being asked to share that deep inner light with a whole range of new allies. I also believe we are resisting this change, because it threatens our most vulnerable inner selves.

As our relationships are no longer required to carry all the wounds, projections and need for acceptance and inclusion from our childhood, we are gradually able to free our partners from having to take care of us.

Juno is also making a channel with Haumea in the Gate of The Gentle (57) at the Spleen Centre.  Haumea is all about relating.  It wasn’t unusual for Haumea to make herself young again to allow her to mate with a much younger person.  She represents regeneration at the cellular level, the spark of life that fires off at the centre of each cell.  Juno and Haumea together add to our intuitive sense for freedom to explore, especially to go further out into the collective energies (Ji Centre).


Ceres and our emotional needs


But there’s more than just Juno adding to our relationship dramas.   Ceres is in the Gate of Standstill.  That’s Gate 12 at the Throat Centre, reaching down for the Solar Plexus, home of our emotions.  The Solar Plexus Centre isn’t interested in unconditional love, it feels everything personally.  Ceres in this position can make us feel as if the nurturing we need has come to a standstill, as if it is blocked from our lives.    We feel so unconsciously ashamed of our emotional needs that we don’t even consider the possibility of clearly stating what they are.  We’re probably not even very aware of them ourselves!

Here’s why I believe, why we are a bit stuck in this place.


really loving ourselves


Firstly, we are still holding onto old projections, old wounds, old fears.  This means we are unable to see our partners, lovers and even our friends very clearly.  Juno is conjunct Narcissus.  There are two ways this can go – we can’t see the other person clearly because we are so self-absorbed (and not in a good way); or it’s impossible to love another person when we have not yet learned to love ourselves well.

Again, the shame of Gate 10 line 3 comes alive.  How can bear to look ourselves in the face when we are so needy?  This is dangerous territory, and perhaps we may choose to focus on our own freedom and the collective energies of the Ji Centre, which are in some ways much less frightening to navigate than the perilous waters of our own emotional subconscious.  It’s easier to feel a sort of idealised unconditional love than to confront the person who is in your face threatening your survival needs for nurturing.   Ixion is in the mix, and he tends to make the other person less human.  If we objectify our partner/lover/friend and project our own stories onto them then we can at least feel safe in knowing what’s going on! But overall, this keeps us stuck in our fear.


lover as object


Thereus is conjunct Ceres, back over in the Gate of Standstill.  Thereus represents the place where we really love our mate because they make us look good.  Perhaps they have an important job, a nice car, or a pretty face.  There’s a subtle sense of holding onto to these old forms of identity.  There’s also the asteroid Child conjunct Uranus (and square Juno), in the Gate of Following (17).  Together they indicate a time to grow up and step outside the safe boundaries of home and family, to move more freely and no longer stay close on  the trail of approval and acceptance from loved ones.  Who could we be if we stepped free of our old bonds and agreements?


relationship fractals


Mercury in Gate 26 last week

I believe that we are shifting out of old ways of relating.  We are in flux, midstream and perhaps looking around wondering where our familiar landscapes have gone.  Some of you may know of Richard Rudd’s take on Gate 26 as representing the place where we shift relationship fractals.  As the disturbance goes out of our field, our relationships get clearer.  Sometimes we experience sudden shifts.  It’s as if we wake one morning and people who may have been friends, partners, lovers for many years  just don’t make sense any more.

Last week, as Mercury and Saturn activated the centre running between the Spleen and Heart Centre, this fractal shift was activated.

The trick here is that we aren’t necessarily leaving people behind.  If both people can break through the old ways, they can shift together.   However that’s not always going to be the case.  There is a terrible grief arising from our need to be loved and cared for,  so that we can’t even find the words to share it.  As no one seems capable of stepping up, we are all flopping about hoping for rescue but there is no rescuer.


lost love


This theme arises from the centaurs Hylonome and Cyrallus, warriors and lovers, separated by death.  Their story is significant just now because Cyrallus has been sitting opposite Pluto since around June 2012.  And Hylonome is in Gate 26, along with a host of other important dwarf planets and centaurs, including Ixion that I have already mentioned.

The power of their story is in the loss of the masculine through senseless loss or pointless sacrifice.  It’s almost as if we are all grieving the lack of a healthy and lively masculine energy, the feminine frozen in her own grief, unable to act.  It’s as if the Tao has come to a halt, all creation ceased.  The creative power of the masculine is sacrificed and the feminine is at a standstill.

The powerful connection just now between Pluto and Cyllarus gives impetus to a push from our individual selves – to take hold of our own resources, our own knowing, our own emotions – and say, this is my treasure and I will use it as I see fit.  I will not act out of fear, but out of love, and my inherent capacity to create life.

This capacity is lost through adapting our response to what we believe our partner (or anyone else for that matter!) wants to hear.   How can any one of us be who we really are when there is a subtle pressure to attune to our partners unspoken needs and fears, avoiding our own in the process.  In the Gate of Stillness (52.6), Cyllarus suggests we take some time to consider our responses to ensure they are truthful.

Hylonome in the Gate of Taming the Great (26.5) suggests we tame our willful ego based responses by going slowly, allowing our Spleen Centre to demonstrate a more realistic response (Saturn in 44), a more noble, powerful, creative and truthful response (44).
Anna Silivonchik



 dissolving barriers to intimacy


Orcus and Siva in the Gate of Dissolving (59), represent a breakdown in our existing agreements within our intimate relationships.  Suddenly no one seems to know the rules anymore!  Chiron brings a sense of karma in the Gate of Family and Community (37), old injuries and fears seem to have arisen to the surface and interrupted our pattern of relating.  The old patterns of protective behaviour no longer bring us security, and we are unsure of where we are.  Boundaries are unclear and must be renegotiated.  We are creating new ways of separating ourselves from others, and new ways of joining together.  Once these new internal partitions are in place we will fee more sure of our ground.

For now, breathe deep (Ceres in 12), and allow the old wounds to dissolve.  Watch for blame – a sure sign of projection!  Don’t allow the need for security to guide you, instead take time each day to be clear about your own personal needs.  This is a new place to love ourselves.


I would like to acknowledge the work of Hilary Barrett.  Her I Ching is a book that I am rarely far from!  I can’t imagine a world without her wise and beautiful words.  This is an I Ching that sustains and nurtures me and one I highly recommend.  I draw much inspiration from it in my blogs, and often paraphrase for the meaning of particular gates.   Click on the image on the sidebar to get your copy.

I'm Kim Gould, founder of Love Your Design. I have been innovating and taking Human Design to the next level since 2003.

Beyond Type and Strategy, beyond the keywords and rigid rules, there are Asteroids, Dwarf Planets, Multidimensional Human Design and Holographic Human Design to explore. Come join me!

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5 thoughts on “Relationship Fractals

  1. Kim, These words hold deep meaning for my current circumstances,.Similar notions have been freeing themselves from my subconscience well ahead of any realisation of true meaning.This has helped me catch up with myself and look closely now at something so fragile, beautiful and complete that I haven’t dared to even attempt to put my finger on it.Reminding myself that feeling out of sorts really is exploring new ground and your post has reminded me to not be afraid of growth and change in relationships Thanks so much

  2. I have been experiencing this relation-shift for a long time….looking at who I am separately, who I am when someone is around, who I am in intimacy and this all makes sense to me. I feel we are going from codependency, and independence to interdependency and we really haven’t experienced that on a deep level. When we integrate the masculine and feminine within we become interdependent of it to create a whole in self which manifests in all of our relationships. Thanks for the evidence for what is coming thru me naturally!

  3. This feels off-the-charts powerful, Kim.
    The pressure to get it ‘right’ every single moment seems to lift, opening space for mistakes and learning.

  4. Kim, this feels like magic to me! As if I am reading my own thoughts in the last few days, but with a deeper insight that makes things much clearer. Thank you!

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